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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Author's Tip: Passive Words by author Anita Philmar

Passive Words

One of the biggest mistake new writers make is by using passive words.

The best way to avoid the problem is to do a search. Word processors let you find words easily. After doing a search, highlight the word, and then read your manuscript. Remove or rephrase the sentences to make your writing more active.

Here are some of the words to search for:


Remove the word.
Example: He knew she loved him but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
(If we’re in his POV then try)

Better: She loved him but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

Or complete rewrite

She loved him but he couldn’t say I love you.

Here is the excerpt for my book "Banished Witch"

He shook his head. Didn’t Danella’s sister, Noelani, warn him Danella wasn’t the same

innocent girl? But could this witch really be the girl he’d dreamed about in his youth?

“And how much will such enjoyment cost me?”

An angry glint lit the depths of her eyes, and she released his hand. “What’s a girl to do? There are certain debts that have to be paid.”

He nodded and didn’t detain her when she rose to stand beside his chair. “A problem we all share.” A wicked grin graced her lips, and she caught hold of his hands again. “So do you want to head upstairs or would you rather go outside for a stroll?”

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